


The Steps to What We Become

by AcesOfSpade



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Temporary Character Death, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, for the most part anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:06:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7909348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcesOfSpade/pseuds/AcesOfSpade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you have a soulmate, and some people don't, you get a mark somewhere on your body the day you turn 16. It could be anything, as long as it is symbolic to your soulmate in some way.</p>
<p>When Bucky Barnes wakes up on his 16th birthday with a weird shield thing on his wrist, he has no idea what life is going to bring him in the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. March 20th, 1933

**Author's Note:**

> Multichap soulmate au... never tried on of these before. School starts in a week, so I'll get in as many updates as I can between now and then, and as many as I can after that until I think it's finished. 
> 
> Enjoy! This _will_ get angsty.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's 16th birthday, and the monstrosity on his wrist.

A shield. A goddamned shield. That was his soulmark. Not even a normal-looking medieval shield. No, it was fucking red, white, and blue mess with a star in the middle of it. What kind of fucker carried a shield like _that_? For that matter, who carried a shield anymore anyway? It was the fucking 1930s, not the 300s.

 

Those were Bucky Barnes' first thoughts upon seeing his soulmark the day he turned 16. It was on his right wrist, about the size of a golf ball. He could easily cover up the monstrosity with his jacket sleeves, so he wasn't really worried about that. No, he was worried about what his best friend would think. Steve was a year younger than he was, so he wouldn't be getting on, if at all, for another year. He might get jealous, or he might be happy for Bucky. Bucky wasn't sure which. He just hoped Steve wouldn't get all weird about it and ruin an eleven-year long friendship.

 

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, Bucky headed out the front door to go pick up Steve so they could walk to school. Sure, it was March, but they always walked to school. It wasn't far, and it helped Steve feel better some days.

 

Arriving at Sarah Rogers' front door, Bucky smiled at the nurse as she called Steve out from the kitchen so he could leave. Steve was out at the door in moments, tugging on his worn-down boots and grabbing his too-big jacket. Everything was too big on Steve, even the dirt-cheap second hand stuff Sarah picked up for him whenever she had the chance. He was such a small kid, but something about him made Bucky want to be closer to him, make sure he lived, dammit.

 

Once Steve was ready, the pair waved to Sarah and headed off to school. A few minutes after the started walking, Steve turned to Bucky curiously.

 

“Happy birthday,” he grinned. “Did you get one? A mark, a mean.” Everyone got a soulmark on their 16th birthday, that was just how it worked. Unless you didn't have a soulmate, that is. Bucky had only met a few people older than 16 with no soulmark to speak of, but they seemed happy with that.

 

“I did, yeah,” Bucky nodded, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to show Steve the shield.

 

“That thing is weird,” Steve commented. “Is it a shield or somethin'?” he wondered.

 

“I think so,” Bucky nodded, rolling his sleeve back down. “Looks like a shield, I guess.

 

The rest of the walk to school was silent, save for the crunching of snow under their boots and the whistling of the early morning wind.


	2. July 4th, 1934

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's 16th birthday gave him an odd soulmark. What does it mean?

When Steve turned 16, he almost thought he didn't have a soulmark. It wasn't anywhere he could see right away, but as he was getting ready to go see Bucky to celebrate, he caught sight of something red on the side of his left arm in the mirror. Frowning, he moved closer to the mirror, angling himself so he could see it better. There, on his shoulder, was a large red star. It couldn't have been much bigger than Steve's hand, but it was a scary dark crimson, the kind of red that made you think about blood. It sent a chill down Steve's spine, and he quickly pulled his t-shirt on to cover it up.

 

Bucky was waiting on his front porch, grinning when he saw Steve walk up the driveway. He stood, waving in the window to his mother, Winifred, to tell her he was leaving. He met Steve at the end of the driveway, handing him a crudely wrapped box.

 

“Happy birthday, punk,” he grinned as Steve took the box. “So, you get one?” he asked, the same question Steve had asked him on his 16th.

 

Steve nodded, rolling up his sleeve to show Bucky the star. Bucky couldn't help but reach out and trace it with his finger, which sent a jolt of something through Steve, almost like electricity. He rolled his sleeve back down as Bucky pulled his hand away, as if he'd been shocked.

 

“Wonder why it's a star,” Bucky mused. “It's real plain, especially next to this monstrosity,” he added, gesturing to his own soulmark.

 

“I like plain,” Steve defended. “Simple is sometimes better, especially compared to yours,” he teased.

 

“When I find this patriotic motherfucker, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind,” Bucky decided with a playful huff.

 

“Whatever you say, Buck,” Steve chuckled as they reached Coney Island. Bucky had saved up just enough to bring Steve here for his birthday, and they would have fun, Bucky could tell.


	3. Winter 1944

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Steve showed Bucky his new shield, Bucky broke inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The date for this chapter is an approximation, I'm not entirely sure on the timeline.

When Steve first told Bucky he'd gotten a new shield, Bucky had thought nothing of it. He assumed Howard had just recreated that weird, old one Steve had used when he'd rescued Bucky.

 

You know what they say about assuming.

 

The first time Bucky saw the new shield, his face went paper-white and there was a bitter taste in his mouth. Of _fucking_ course it was Steve. Who else would it be? Who else would the Universe decide was his perfect equal other than Steven Grant Rogers? And the thing is, as much as Bucky knew about platonic soulmates, he just _knew_ that wasn't what he and Steve were.

 

While Bucky's mind was overheating, Steve frowned, waving a hand in front of his face. “Hey, Buck? You okay?” he asked. He hadn't realized this new shield looked exactly like Bucky's soulmark, because it had been a decade since he last saw it for more than a few seconds.

 

Bucky shook his head quickly, regaining his composure. “Yeah, I'm good,” he lied. “You plan on fighting Nazis with _that?_ ” he asked, returning to his usual playful nature. “Might as well write your full name on it when you throw it at 'em so they know which American to thank for their demise.”

 

“Very funny, Buck,” Steve rolled his eyes, an amused smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “I'll have you know this is a fine shield. Good for throwing _and_ saving my own ass from bullets.”

 

“Versatile,” Bucky rolled his eyes sarcastically. “Anyway, we got somewhere to be. Someone's got a lead on Zola.”


	4. Winter 1944- Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Steve heads for the ice, he has a few last thoughts on things he hadn't done in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is super short, and again, the title is an approximation, because I'm not sure exactly when he went under.

After the train, Steve threw himself into his mission to find Zola a little too harshly. He had been doing it for the Commandos and what had happened to them, but now he was doing it for Bucky. Bucky, who had fallen off a train trying to save him and the Commandos. Bucky, who had been his best friend and part of the reason he fought so hard to join the army in the first place.

 

The mission in the Arctic was supposed to be productive. The lead seemed solid, so Steve was all set up for a solo mission to fly up there for information. He wasn't expecting what happened.

 

Everything was going fine up until he actually got to the Arctic, then it all went to shit. Something happened, and Steve wasn't sure what, but his plane started falling, falling, falling, and all he could think about was things he hadn't done.

 

He hadn't gone for that dance with Peggy. He hadn't really gotten over his mother's death, but really, who did? He hadn't found what he was looking for from HYDRA.

 

Most prominent in his mind was that he'd never met his soulmate, at least he didn't think so. He'd never know who the red star on his shoulder belonged to, and that was his last thought before he hit the ice and everything went black.


	5. May 4th, 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Steve meets the Avengers, they seem nice enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Look, this one has an actual date!~~
> 
> At least this one is a bit longer than the last few. I apologize for the overall shortness though. The total word count for all the chapters so far is somewhere around my average word count for oneshots. Oops.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

When Steve woke up from the ice, everything was different. This wasn't the New York he'd grown up in. Everything was high-tech and shiny, which was intimidating. However, what was even more intimidating was this man in the eye patch, telling him he was nearly 70 years in the future.

 

Meeting the people he was being forced to work as a team with, Steve didn't know how to feel. Howard's son, Tony, seemed to hate him because Howard never stopped talking about him (which Steve could kind of understand). The archer Barton was an enigma, but not as big an enigma as his partner, Romanov. Dr. Banner seemed to be a nice guy, but he'd been warned not to get him angry. Thor though, Thor was fascinating for a different reason. He claimed to be a God, and actual, living God, and that piqued Steve's curiosity. He did have unimaginable power compared to he rest of the team, and he had an air about him that seemed other-worldly.

 

At one point, Tony had started a casual conversation, possibly out of boredom, with the entirety of the group in the room.

 

“So, any of you guys have marks?” he asked casually, eyes travelling the room to gauge reactions.

 

Clint and Natasha raised their hands, though they didn't elaborate. Thor shook his head, saying Asgardians had no concept of soulmates. Dr. Banner just shook his head and said nothing. Tony showed the group his, which was a pepper shaker on his right shoulder. After that, all eyes fell on Steve, who had been silent since the question was asked.

 

“Yeah, I have on,” Steve nodded. “They didn't put it in the exhibit because no one knew who my soulmate was. Not even me,” he shrugged, and the conversation went back to the briefing.

* * *

Not long after the Battle of New York, for that was what the public was calling it, the Avengers (what the public called their team) had all gathered at Stark Tower for a sort of celebratory drink. Steve, for his part, had tried to dress casual with what he had to work with, and he thought he succeeded. Dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt, he didn't look out-of-place amongst his casually-dressed teammates.

 

A few rounds in for Tony, he wandered over to Steve and slung an arm around the taller man's shoulders as best he could. “So, Capsicle,” he said, voice slurred ever so slightly from the alcohol. “What's that, peeking out from under your sleeve?” he asked, pointing to Steve's left shoulder. Indeed, something red was poking out from under his t-shirt sleeve, and Steve sighed.

 

“My soulmark,” Steve explained, rolling up his sleeve to show Tony. There was no use avoiding it, he'd find out eventually.

 

Tony blinked, moving his arm away from Steve's shoulders so he could get a better look at the red star. “Simple,” he commented, restraining himself from touching it. “Like you.”

 

“Whatever you say, Tony,” Steve said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and walking away from Tony. Tony, for his part, didn't seem upset that Steve left. Instead, he sought out Clint to gossip about Steve's soulmark, because he knew Clint would want to hear it.

 

By the end of the night, all of the Avengers knew about Steve's soulmark, and Clint kept pestering him to see it until he finally did. No one else seemed particularly interested in it, though, so that was good. Steve was glad for that, at least.


	6. March 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve finally catches a glimpse of his soulmate, but he isn't happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gods, this is so fucking short. As with my two 1944 chapters, this date is an approximation, based on when TWS came out.

Why Nick Fury was in his apartment, Steve had no idea. Speaking in code was never a skill he was good at, so he was probably acting suspiciously to whoever bugged his place. His suspicions were confirmed when a shot rang out and pierced his wall, nailing Fury dead-on.

 

Suddenly, his neighbour Kate was in his apartment with a gun, claiming to be SHIELD special service. As she checked over Fury, Steve had gone to the window to try to catch sight of the shooter. What he was was a brief flash of... a red star on someone's left shoulder.

 

“Tell them I'm in pursuit,” Steve muttered when the man on the other end of the comm line asked if they had eyes on the shooter.

 

Racing down the halls, Steve used his shield and simple fore to break down doors, accidentally creating a shield-sized dent in a wall trying to not run head-first into it.

 

When he was finally outside, he saw the shooter on the roof of the building across from him, running away. Steve, on impulse, threw his shield at the figure, only for the figure to catch it with its left arm, giving Steve another glance at the red star.

 

Steve recoiled when the shield was thrown back at him, skidding a few feet backwards as he caught it. That wasn't what was at the forefront of his mind, however. No, the forefront of his mind was plagued by one thought, and one thought alone:

 

His soulmate is an assassin.


	7. March 2014- Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During the infamous highway battle with the Winter Soldier, Steve gets a rude awakening as to the identity of his long-mysterious soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, another date approximation. Lovely. 
> 
> More angst here, and a battle scene I transcribed from a clip of the actual fight. I can't write fight scenes, so bear with me here.

Running at the Winter Soldier, the minute his fist ricocheted off Steve's shield, he knew he was fucked. Skidding backwards, Steve quickly tucked and rolled, making himself as small as possible underneath the shield in case the Soldier shot at him.

 

Jumping back up to his feet, the Soldier did start firing at him, so Steve started running behind cars, dodging shots with his shield. When he got close enough, the Soldier threw a punch, which Steve blocked with his shield. Bad idea on Steve's part, as the Soldier grabbed his shield and twisted it, and his arm, backwards. In an attempt to keep his shoulder in its socket, Steve quickly flipped with the shield, landing back on his feet.

 

Punches were thrown, and suddenly, the Soldier had his shield and Steve was on the ground. As he got back up, his shield was thrown at him full-force, getting stuck in the back of a panel van when Steve failed to catch it.

 

Turning back to the Soldier, the man now had a knife in his hand, and Steve had to put his hand-to-hand training to the test trying to get it away form him. A well-placed kick to the chest sent the Soldier flying backwards into the side of a car, the knife falling out of his hand and clattering to the ground.

 

Even disarmed, the Soldier still fought. He got his metal hand around Steve's throat, holding him a few centimetres off the ground before throwing him a few feet backwards over a car. The Soldier stepped onto the hood of the car, making the jump down towards Steve and punching the ground when Steve quickly rolled away.

 

Another knife came out, and Steve did everything he could to keep the Soldier from driving it through his forehead as he'd tried to do. Mentally apologizing to whoever own the van he was being pressed again, Steve grabbed the Soldier by the wrist and drove the knife into the side of the van, a long scratch following as Steve tried to run away.

 

Grabbing the Soldier and flipping him over his shoulder gave Steve enough time to pull his shield out of the back of the van and get back into the fight, jamming it in the Soldier's metal arm and causing it to spark. Steve quickly grabbed the Soldier by his face mask, flipping him over his shoulder and unknowingly pulling the mask off in the process.

 

Steve turned around, and so did the Soldier. When Steve caught sight of his face, it felt like time itself stopped as Steve's chest heaved from the fighting. His mind had to be playing tricks on him right then, because there was no way in Hell he was seeing what he was seeing. There was no way in _Hell_ that man survived the fall off the train.

 

“Bucky?” he found himself muttering anyway, squinting to see if it was still Bucky with that line of sight. Yep, still Bucky.

 

“Who the Hell is Bucky?” the Soldier muttered, and time started moving again as Sam flew in and knocked the Soldier on his ass and Natasha shot at the car he was behind to blow it up.

 

Steve stood there, even as Sam and Natasha called out to make sure he was okay. He was too busy thinking, too busy being in shock to hear anything. There were two thoughts he could think, and his own well-being wasn't one of them:

 

Bucky Barnes was _alive_ , and Bucky Barnes is his _soulmate_.


	8. April 4th, 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle of the Triskellion. There's not much else to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another poorly transcribed fight scene. Yay. This is also almost word-for-word from the scene, with one change to fit the plot of this fic. Wheee.

“People are going to die, Buck. I can't let that happen.”

 

Steve's words echoed through the nearly empty Hellicarrier, though they were directed at the man standing in front of him. After a moment of silence, Steve spoke again, voice breaking as he did.

 

“Please don't make me do this.”

 

It was an empty plea, because he knew, he knew, he had to do this. With that, he pulled his arm back and threw the shield at Bucky as if it were a Frisbee, only to have it be deflected back to him off the metal arm.

 

The resulting hand-to-hand fight saw Steve nearly get shot in the side, as well as Bucky pulling out a knife. _Where does he keep all of those knives?_ Steve thought as he kept fighting, curious but not enough to ask.

 

Running for the thing he'd come for in the first place as soon as he had an opening, Steve started pressing the buttons he needed to in order to replace the card that would launch the Hellicarrier for Project Insight.

 

Before he could replace it, Bucky threw a punch, restarting their fight as soon as he was back on his feet. Steve managed to land a kick square to his chest, sending him flying backwards. It gave him enough time to pull the card he needed to replace and slip it into his belt before Bucky swung another punch at him. Blocking it with the shield, Steve used the position as leverage to physically push Bucky backwards with his body, away from the array of cards.

 

The fight drew on, seeing Bucky run at Steve and topple them both over the guard rail and down onto the lower level. The card Steve was about to put in the array as a replacement fell from his hand, slipping to the edge of the level and nearly falling off.

 

When Bucky got back to his feet, he ran at Steve and pulled him towards the edge. Steve grabbed the card as he slid passed, managing to not fall of the edge. The card was knocked out of his hand and went sailing over the edge when Bucky threw another punch, though Steve managed to kick him off the edge and onto the glass. He jumped down after Bucky, but Bucky got hold of his fallen shield. As Steve was running for the card, the shield was thrown at his back, hitting him between the shoulders. He stumbled forward, grabbing it when it fell, just in time to block gunshots from Bucky.

 

Bucky pulled another knife ( _seriously_ , where is he keeping all those knives), and this one was successfully driven into Steve's right shoulder. Steve grunted in pain, headbutting Bucky a few times to get him to pull the knife out and stumble backwards.

 

When he hit the glass, Bucky reached for the card and grabbed it, but Steve grabbed him by the throat and lifted him in the air, throwing him down onto the glass. He held Bucky's arm back as he pressed down on his face, which could've been a wrestling move, muttering 'drop it' as if Bucky were a dog.

 

“Drop it,” he said again, and Bucky let out a strangled scream. Steve pulled them both to the ground, arms tightly around Bucky's throat. There was a struggle, Bucky managing to pry one arm off of his neck with his metal hand, but that was quickly pulled under Steve's leg and held there.

 

The arm around Bucky's neck tightened, causing him to let out choking noises. As he stopped struggling due to lack of oxygen, Bucky dropped the card as his muscles went slack. Shoving Bucky off of him, Steve grabbed the card and ran back up to the array to put it in.

 

 

When the Hellicarrier started to crash and pieces started falling, Steve noticed Bucky trapped under a large support and pulled it up. By that point, Bucky was conscious again, grunting as the support was lifted off of his chest. He scrambled out from underneath it, and Steve dropped the support again.

 

“You know me,” Steve grunted as the two got to their feet.

 

“No I don't!” Bucky yelled, swinging a punch at the shield and sending Steve flying backwards.

 

“Bucky,” Steve all but wheezed, getting back to his feet. “You've known me your whole life.”

 

Bucky swung a punch that caught Steve's jaw, sending him flying yet again.

 

“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes,” Steve stated, getting back to his feet again.

 

“Shut up!” Bucky screamed, swinging another punch.

 

“I'm not gonna fight you,” Steve muttered, dropping his shield through an opening in the glass below them. “You're my soulmate,” he added as his shield fell through the sky.

 

Bucky flinched for a half second before charging at Steve, knocking him onto his back and pinning him to the ground. “You're my mission,” he growled, punching Steve forcefully in the chest with his metal hand.

 

“Then finish it,” Steve muttered, dazed from the number of punches he'd taken, as well as the blood-loss from the stab wound in his shoulder. “'cause I'm with you 'til the end of the line.”

 

That line gave Bucky pause, his blue eyes wide with unreadable emotion. He stopped punching Steve, simply holding him by the fabric of his uniform and staring at him.

 

As parts of the Hellicarrier started crumbling underneath them, Bucky shoved Steve off the edge, standing and watching him plummet into the Potomac River. He was unconscious by the time he hit the water, so he didn't feel anything.

 

As Steve slowly sank to the bottom, something deep within Bucky made him jump down into the water and drag both Steve and his fallen shield onto the bank of the river. Once Bucky was sure Steve was alive, he took off into hiding once more.


	9. June 4th, 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wants to know why Bucky is so important to Steve, so Steve finally tells him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I picked a random date after the Battle of Sokovia and before Civil War for this one, so there's a month and a day! Enjoy.

As the search for Bucky went on, Sam was starting to wonder why this guy was so important to Steve. Yeah, he was the guy's childhood best friend, but there was something else to it, something Sam couldn't figure out.

 

After the dust settled with the Sokovia incident and the Avengers had two new recruits and a fancy facility, Sam cornered Steve on an off day when he wasn't search, looking for answers.

 

“Steve, can we talk?” Sam asked casually, directing him towards Sam's room.

 

“About?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow as he sat in Sam's desk chair. Sam claimed his bed, sitting cross-legged in the middle of it as he looked at Steve.

 

“Barnes,” Sam said simply.

 

“What about him?” Steve asked, not ready for this conversation. He'd been avoiding the topic since he'd asked Sam to help him find Bucky last year, but he knew it'd come up eventually.

 

“Why's he some important?” Sam asked, getting right to the point. “I get that he's your childhood best friend and all, but speaking from my point of view, I wouldn't be prepared to break international law for my childhood best friend.”

 

Steve sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “You can't tell any of the other Avengers this,” he muttered, rolling up his sleeve to show Sam the star.

 

“Your soulmark?” Sam frowned, not connecting the dots. “I know about that, everyone does now thanks to Tony.”

 

“Look at it, really look at it,” Steve prompted, keeping his sleeve rolled up.

 

Sam studied the star for a few moments before realization dawned on him. “Oh. _Oh_ ,” he muttered, eyes widening. “Yeah, now I get it,” he said. “I'd risk international law for my soulmate, if he wasn't...” he trailed off, a hand moving to the back of his neck.

 

Steve gave Sam a sympathetic look. He'd heard all about Riley from Sam during the few VA meetings he went to, and he knew that Riley was Sam's soulmate. Losing his soulmate like that must've been devastating for Sam, and Steve hoped he never had to watch Bucky die.

 

“I'll help you find him,” Sam nodded. “Even if we break the law,” he added. “I won't let you lose your soulmate before you even have him.”

 

“Thanks, Sam,” Steve smiled softly. “I should've known, back in the 40s. I saw his soulmark for the first time the day he turned 16, and he saw the shield for the first time in 44. I'm an idiot,” he muttered.

 

“Nah, you were fighting a war,” Sam shook his head. “No time for that kinda stuff in a war.”

 

“Yeah, I guess,” Steve nodded. “Anyway, I think we're training today.”

 

Sam thought for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, I think Tony wants us to teach Vision to fight. This'll be a treat.”


End file.
